Selfish Reasons First, But Then...?

I chose first and foremost to become a vegan for my own health. Goodness knows, I had plenty of reasons to choose better. Most of my eating came from sources that are ubiquitous and prepared to feed the gluttonous appetite at a moment's notice -- McDonald's, Round Table, any fast food joint, really. On every other street corner in America is a cornucopia of processed meat, processed grain, refined sugars, and highly developed oils and chemicals to give over-processed dreck enticing flavor. On my drive home from work I pass about 20 quick food joints for every one market. Quick, easy and premade is what we're meant to choose. That path means oodles of profits for corporate moneymakers that don't give a good God damn about our health, well-being or quality of life. It is at first a very satisfying feeling to say no to all of that, to say no, I am choosing myself and my own tomorrows over this most base, wanton craving for junk the system expects of me.

But then...after just a couple of months, a new awareness dawns. It creeps up, slowly, surely. As the processed-food born haze lifts, a new nagging consciousness unfolds in its place. At first, one starts noticing all the mindless gluttony carried by so many people as they lumber thickly, both mentally and physically through the pointless motions of half-lived lives. Then one starts to notice the dead hunks of meat dispensed by the bucket full from every eating place or market. Freezers and shelves are packed high and wide with chunks of dead animals that lived miserable lives and suffered before they were butchered and hacked into pieces. One timidly, anxiously starts to acknowledge that every living creature did suffer before it became a shapeless, packaged flavor for the masses. It is not pleasant to think of these things. It was so much easier living ignorantly, obliviously.

Do I want to bear the weight and moral responsibility of saying no to what is readily available in favor of choosing what is uncommon, largely unaccepted and barely an afterthought to the masses unless they're pausing to acknowledge that for some reason vegans are threatening and anger inducing? Well, you know, not really. I am a person who was in love with bacon cheeseburgers and felt irritated to be questioned by vegetarians. But I can't go back now. That would mean unlearning everything I've learned. It would mean shrinking back into the shadowy caves of ignorance and lack of awareness. I can't go back now, not without compromising what is now a part of my values system. I do not want factory farming of animals to carry on unquestioned when I know better what horrible events transpire to create a cheeseburger. I am kinder, my life is kinder and my health unquestionably better for having chosen a different path.

The question for me now is what would it take to make more people aware? How would it be possible to create a groundswell of action that brings vegetarian choices to fast food joints and restaurant menus? Maybe we should all withhold our dollars from restaurants or make a point to not just "go along to get along" by compromising our values for our tablemates. Maybe it is time we became more uncompromising and more difficult and let restaurants know vegetarians and vegans exist in numbers large enough to make an impact. If we actually do, that is. Most days I can't tell that there are enough to make a difference.